I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
