giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
