you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
