He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
