Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
