I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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