He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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