I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
