I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
