I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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