i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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