Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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