Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
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Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
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i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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