A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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