It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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