Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
