Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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