If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize