There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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