Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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