Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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