My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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