just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
