So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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