I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
