I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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