I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
