Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
