so explain again why im purple
no
I skipped work to stalk him.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
