I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
