never play flip cup with pint glasses
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
it glows. i had to have it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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