Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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