Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
