WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he was CRYING into my vagina
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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