Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
