Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
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His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
is that a dick in a sweater?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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