i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
