fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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