I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
