so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
