Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
