i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
