Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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