Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
