worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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