Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
