2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
