i don't like sucking hair
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
