mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
smell my finger.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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