What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
