Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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