i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
