I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
