we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize