Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
