i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
