Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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