you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
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Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
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He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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