wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
