i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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