he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
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All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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