he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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