all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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