I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official drugs can't kill me
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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