i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
