Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
